我下半世有著落啦喂!

早一兩個星期,有人同我講,叫我睇下有條友嘅片,我不以為已,因為咁啱我嗰個星期忙到甩碌。

忙完嗰個禮拜,人開始無聊,就去睇下咩料。哦,原來有條肥仔(或者肥佬),因為婚姻受咗啲打擊,於是發奮圖強,成功減肥,仲練成一身好武功嘅勵志故事。我最初無隻隻字咁睇,但大概都係個類故事情節啦 – 老公on柒柒性事不濟,老婆同老公同事攪上咗兼走佬,老公不堪打擊,結果離婚收場,老公發奮圖強,積極減肥,明知自己碌J唔夠人勁,醉心鑽研床技,然後“叮”一聲,個人突然開竅,打通任督二脈,成為潮吹高手(自稱個隻)

“Today, I’m considered one of the world’s leading authorities on female ejaculation.”

有自信係好,不過硬係覺得好似大陸某啲兜踎公司總裁,響公司貼晒同國家領導人、世界級富豪啲合照,然後覺得自己好威好勁咁,大家明係咩感覺啩?

我個人比較井底蛙,好想知World’s leading authorities on female ejaculation係邊啲機構。啦啦啦….我有問過Google神先㗎,不過佢彈咗 – 頭位一本書,第二Wikipedia,第三BBC網站 – 俾我。各位會員,幫下手解答我嘅疑難啦!

Anyway,咁人哋辭埋份高薪厚職,醉心鑽研幫女人放水,仲揼埋個online course教男人放水,兼夾做緊world tour,環遊世界去唔同地方誠邀各地方女仕一嚐佢嘅身手,而且仲灌輸一個好正嘅概念俾班床技不濟嘅男人去令身邊女仕貼貼服服,當你神咁拜。

“Intense Orgasms = Oxytocin = LOYALTY”

“Because imagine your girl’s eyes rolling back in her head as her body shakes and she let’s out a scream she’s never shared with anyone before…

And she’s lying with her head on your chest — her body still quivering — and she looks up at you with a tears of joy in her eyes…

THAT’S a girl who doesn’t cheat!”

真係唔睇唔知世事咁簡單,識放水就征服世界!哈哈哈哈哈

不過點都好,諗到下半生以教人放水,同埋環遊世界去造福俾未曾感受過潮吹嘅女仕,的確又幾好咁喎!

睇咗咁多,無奶油唔欣賞下呢位大師嘅精湛技術㗎嘛。於是乎我專登裝咗pornhub個app (啦啦啦,我真係為咗睇佢先裝pornhub㗎咋,嘿嘿嘿)

Search “hunk hands”…..再睇 – 第一條片fast forward,第二條片fast forward,第三條片fast forward。Hmm…..o…k…

我再睇四五六七八九十條片,得嘞。

如果佢都叫leading authority,咁SBC入面都應該有唔少世界級高手。

我大概可以總結,我唔教人放水真係好似好浪費上天俾我嘅天份。有朝一日我自己個行無得撈,SBC又唔再需要我,而又再無人愛我嘅時候,我都可以考慮establish as one of the world’s leading authorities on female ejaculation!

(僅供娛樂,切勿模仿,最緊要睇完咪笑太大聲嚇親人!??)